#4 Choosing Sides

A continuation of my journey through the IHOPKC crisis.

Whose side are you on?

A year ago, my Church home was torn out from under my feet like a table cloth is pulled out by someone doing a magic trick. Sadly, everything on top of the table cloth did not remain in place. Every single person was affected. IHOPKC and Forerunner Church became like the sinking Titanic. Everyone was forced to chose a side. Some chose quickly and left immediately. Some stayed. Others, like myself, took a while to decide. As letters of resignation surfaced and the story unfolded, we were obligated to reckon with new information. I continued to examine all of the pieces but could not bring myself to chose a side. I could see multiple perspectives. Unfortunately, IHOPKC's leadership of the process brought more questions and concerns that could not be answered. Still, I held on with one foot in and one foot out. I began church shopping while remaining involved at Forerunner Church.

Image from Pixabay

(Note: See “October 28, 2023” at the end of this post for a timeline of the initial announcement and response.)

I continued to believe the best about IHOPKC while voicing many questions and concerns. My kids continued in their activities, and my husband attended FC services while I scouted out different churches. Unfortunately, Mike's silence and IHOPKC's lack of response concerning so many things were all becoming more incriminating.

As I processed it all, I spoke with many who remained in leadership and many who had left. A family member who knew Mike very well admitted, "I wholeheartedly think MB was wrong on every level with Jane Doe." In my mind, this was enough to confirm the testimonies of victims who had spoken up.

I refused to choose a side until one particular IHOPKC leader compelled me to do so. During an evening service, she asked me what I was doing there. I explained. After several months had passed, she saw me dancing in the prayer room. She stopped and asked me, "Why are you here?" I replied, "Why wouldn't I be?" She said, "I thought you were on their side."

After much delay, I finally reached out to her and communicated my hurt. Remember, the message below was simply my response to the pain of betrayal I was feeling after having trusted IHOPKC leadership for 20+ years. Some may be true, some only perceived. I'm sharing to give insight into how I, along with many others, were processing the catastrophe.

“I have so much I want to say to you. I have thought of responding numerous times... Sadly, I realize you will not listen, only correct my ‘narrative.’ ... I am still shocked at the inappropriate ways you have interacted with me: defending, accusing, reversing the script, and belittling, among other things. You have an opposite answer for everything. After our [meeting in January 2024], you awkwardly interjected yourself in a private conversation and prayer ... as I was processing the strange and manipulative meeting I had just come out of with you. It appears that you have genuine intent, but that you have been so close for so long that you cannot see the false narrative in which you have been indoctrinated... The way you tried to shame me and make me not feel welcome at FC and the prayer room, asking why I was there are unacceptable... Even your final belittling response of being ‘deeply saddened that my little heart is so broke’ is beyond belief. My heart is not broken, but I am grieving, a healthy process to go through in light of so much loss... The very fact that you ... don't see Jane Doe 1 as a victim shows how much you are focused on protecting a ministry rather than correcting and preventing systems of abuse. ‘She had an affair...’ says you dismiss [MB's] wrong doing. By engaging with her in a decade of ... ministry and not stepping down after the ‘affair’ disqualifies him. [He should have been told to] break off ungodly soul ties, step down, get counseling, etc. I'm sorry... but I cannot trust [IHOPKC leadership] ... though I love... and am praying for all of you!”

This leader and I corresponded further about the situation. She apologized for injuring me, corrected some misunderstandings or false assumptions, affirmed my assertions, acknowledged having blindspots, and thanked me for my courage in showing them to her.

I received her apology and explained more of my concerns. I never returned to the prayer room after that. By then, so much trust had been broken. My husband and I had learned so much about this ministry that had been controlling and manipulative. The foundation was in need of repair. Leaders didn't understand. It seemed that generational curses were keeping this ministry and its leaders from true healing.

We let our kids finish up the things they were involved in at FC before it closed its doors for the summer. Long story short, my family and I began attending another church in February 2024. I have considered it our "lifeboat" since. I am not sure if I will ever be able to truly call another church "home" or become a "member" again.

I’m on the Lord’s side

The example of my interaction with an IHOPKC leader shows our susceptibility in choosing a side and our assumption that everyone is on one side or the other.

Check out this message. It was so helpful and timely when I first shared it in April 2024.

The pastor explained that many people used cheep questions to put Jesus on a side. He also shared about this passage in the Bible:

Joshua stepped up to him and said, “Whose side are you on—ours or our enemies?” He said, “Neither. I'm commander of GOD's army. I've just arrived.” Joshua fell, face to the ground, and worshiped." Joshua 5:13-14 (The Message)

Though I may have physically left the ministry of IHOPKC, I genuinely love and care about the people on both sides. I want the Lord's plan, His correction, His leadership!

If that means the whole thing needs to shut down so the Lord can bring healing, so be it. If the ministry restarts under a new church name, I want the Lord to expose the faulty foundations and lay a new foundation, not on "Branhamism," Pentecostalism, "Bicklism," or any "prophet" or movement, but on Christ the solid rock.

I believe that we need to open our eyes and do a deep dive into history, not just of IHOPKC, but of the charismatic movement. We need to learn where we got off course in order to change. We can't just restructure a little and then keep going with business ad usual. I am convinced that the Church is in the midst of another historical reformation. It is long overdue. We must side with JESUS and His plan.

October 28, 2003

Here's a brief timeline provided by AI of the initial announcement and response:

Allegations against Mike Bickle, a minister, were announced publicly on October 28, 2023. The allegations included sexual abuse from multiple women over several decades.

Explanation

• On October 28, 2023, news broke that Bickle was facing sexual abuse allegations.

• The next day, International House of Prayer (IHOP) put Bickle on administrative leave while they investigated.

• On December 12, 2023, Bickle admitted to past misconduct, but denied some of the allegations.

• On December 22, 2023, IHOP announced that they would permanently sever ties with Bickle.

Recommendations:

There are so many pieces of the IHOPKC puzzle and its foundations that need to be examined. I cannot even begin to cover the story of how everything has unfolded. I have gleaned insight from numerous podcasts. Many are seen as controversial. Though I do not fully agree with everyone's viewpoint, I have found various resources helpful in sorting through the pieces. Below are some YouTube channels I’ve listened to over the past year. Please use discernment as you sift through the information.

YouTube channels: The Remnant Radio, Torn Curtain, Minor Prophets, Shane Winnings, Rita Springer, Julie Roys, The Dwayne and Jennifer Podcast, Wake Up and Win, The Green Room, and Leaving the Message.

If you haven’t read my introduction to the Puzzle of the Western Church called “Puzzled!” or my next two articles, “Questions about Mike Bickle and IHOPKC” and “Questioning Mike Bickle’s Silence,” go back and read my first three articles on Substack by clicking the links at the end of this article.

Subscribe to Rachael Steel’s Substack for more background on the IHOPKC culture!

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